My Idol
by JenovaRemnants
Summary: CloudxDenzel fic written mainly from Denzels POV. Denzel has fallen for his idol and Tifa makes it easy for him to get what he wants. Crappy summary, good story. Yaoi/Shota- don't like, don't read.
1. Teenage Experiences

**A/N: I really like the CloudxDenzel pairing, unfortunately there aren't many fics based on this pairing. So I made this, hope you enjoy!**

**This is yaoi/shota- sex with a minor (manxboy), you have been warned. Don't like-don't read.**

**I DO NOT own Final Fantasy or any of its characters.**

"Not again." I whispered under my breath. I sat upright and held my head in my hands, burying my face in the sweaty palms. I began to sob silently into my hands, shaking in an attempt to control my grief. I could feel the sticky substance coat the bed sheets, and my lower regions.

I guess I should back up a bit. My name is Denzel; I'm 13 years old and live with Tifa, Marlene and..._Him_. It had been a couple of years since I was cured of geostigma and Cloud defeated Sephiroth. Not much has changed except Cloud is at home a lot more often than he used to. At first I was excited, I thought we could be best friends and do all those father-son type things, but Cloud is Cloud and his attitude hasn't changed at all. I know he cares for us, so much so he would sacrifice himself, that much is obvious. However, he just doesn't know how to show it, I feel sorry for him. Anyway, at first it was great, I was so happy that my idol was around all the time but then...the dreaded puberty hit. I don't know much about the 'transition from boy to man', only what Tifa has told me in one of our embarrassing talks. But one thing I did know was that nights weren't so peaceful anymore. I understood (from Tifa's lessons) that the _stuff _that ruined my sheets almost every night was the same _stuff_ that got women pregnant. I also understood why my...thing got hard all the time. But I didn't know how to get rid of it; I was far too frightened to touch it whilst it was hard. That is why being around Cloud wasn't so great anymore. I h-have feelings for him. At night, all my dreams are about _him_; when my thing gets hard it's because of _him_ and finally, I just can't stop thinking about _him_. Maybe now you might understand the following events easier...

After finally calming myself down, I snuck out of my room carrying the sheets in hand. Following a quick glance down the hall to make sure no one was there; I crept past Marlene's room and headed for the laundry room. The washing machine and I have spent a lot of nights together as of late. And here was another one. Even now, tears kept sliding down my cheeks adding a second 'stain' onto the sheets. I was so ups-

"Denzel?" I stopped in my tracks, slowly turning towards the owner of the voice. Tifa. "What are you doing?"

"I-I'm so sorry T-Tifa!" I began sobbing violently again, wrapping my arms around the only mother figure in my life. Luckily, Tifa is a smart woman and it didn't take long for her to put two and two together.

"It's okay, Denzel. Go back up to bed with the spare sheets; I'll take care of these." I nodded in thanks, handing her the sheets and heading for the cupboard for the spare ones, hoping to God that I wouldn't ruin these ones too.

"Morning, Tifa." Cloud grumbled, walking into the bar in the early morning. He headed for the fridge immediately.

"Morning."

"Are Marlene and Denzel up?" Cloud asked, pulling out the bottle of milk and lifting it to his lips.

"Not yet. Speaking of Denzel, we need to talk." Cloud placed the milk down, a look of concern appearing on his face.

"What's wrong?" He asked, fearing something was terribly wrong. Memories of the stigma flashed through his mind.

"Don't worry, it's nothing too serious." Tifa said with a giggle. It was nice to know that Cloud was at least concerned.

"Oh." Cloud's features relaxed. "What is it then?"

"Denzel came downstairs last night with his bed sheets." Cloud tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, raising an eyebrow. "The sheets were stained with semen." Tifa said, trying to sound more grownup then she usually did. Cloud looked down as he returned the milk to the fridge. This wasn't a topic he felt comfortable with.

"So? It's normal isn't it?"

"He was very upset. He was scared, Cloud. I want you to talk to him."

"Why? He already knows about..."

"But, there's one thing I didn't teach him. I didn't tell him how to 'deal with it'." Tifa said, crossing her arms.

"Can't he figure it out on his own?" Cloud asked in desperation, sitting down out of mistrust towards his legs. He was afraid they would give way any second.

"If you saw how scared he was..." There was a moment of silence. Tifa watched Cloud was he stared at the floor. She could tell that the man was uncomfortable. "If you don't want to talk to him...there are other ways."

"There are?" Cloud looked up, hoping for any chance to get out of Tifa's task.

"You could...let him catch you." Cloud nearly fell off his stool at the suggestion.

"What?"

"It's up to you. You can either talk to him or..."

"Fine."

**Tell me what you think. Cloud masturbation in the next chapter :)**


	2. Tifa's Task

**A/N: Cloud masturbation! Yay!!!! I really hope you enjoy this chapter, I worked hard on the masturbation scene so I hope it gets a little 'attention'.**

It was the morning after my latest accident. I was walking downstairs with a sickly feeling in my stomach, fearing that Tifa would raise the subject in front of everyone...more importantly, in front of _him_. I sighed in relief as I entered the bar to find only Tifa and Marlene inside. Cloud was nowhere to be seen.

"Denzel!" Marlene shouted in greeting, waving at me with a huge smile.

"Good morning." Tifa said, a mischievous smile creeping onto her face.

"Morning." I replied, walking towards them, shuffling my feet as I went.

"Breakfast?" Tifa asked, holding out a plate of bacon and eggs.

"No thanks." I grumbled, the sickly feeling still present. For the remainder of breakfast, I merely sat and watched Marlene eat (Tifa must have already eaten).

"Where's Cloud, Tifa?" Marlene asked. I looked up at Tifa, I was curious as to Cloud's whereabouts myself.

"I don't know. Denzel, could you go and see if Cloud is awake?" My heart sank. I really didn't want to face him at the moment. _No! Why me?!_

"I'll go, Tifa!" _Yes! Thank you, Marlene!_ I was relieved at the girl's intervention.

"No. A lady must _never_ enter the room of a sleeping man unless she is the man's wife." _No!_ I groaned silently. _Damn you lady rules!_ "Denzel?" Tifa asked me again.

"Okay." I said, slipping away from the table, having to drag myself towards the stairs.

* * *

* * *

That was when I heard it. A loud grunt escaped through the small space of the partially open door. The noise confused me. _What on Earth was that?_ I asked myself. Out of curiosity alone, I crept towards the door, peering through the crack. The sight took my breath away. Cloud was on the bed, the sheets thrown off him, completely naked. I gasped as my eyes roamed his beautifully sculpted body, an image made by God. Every muscle was the definition of perfection. His handsome face was thrown back, his eyes were closed (such a shame) and his mouth was open as he released his grunts and moans. His incredible, hairless chest was layered with beads of sweat. I side tracked for a moment to take in the sight of his muscled arms, one of which was heading down for...

I returned to his chest, following one of the beads of sweat trail down his chest and pass over his amazing abs. That's when I finally saw it. There, in-between his powerful legs, was the object I had fantasized about for so long. Cloud's manhood. It stood proud and tall, far bigger than mine. He had one hand wrapped around the object, slowly moving up and down. I watched the foreskin slowly peel back, thus revealing the throbbing head. I felt like I was being hypnotized by the movement as the head was once again engulfed by the foreskin. Watching it caused a familiar tightness in my own pants. I could feel my, considerably smaller, cock spring to life and desperately try to free itself from the confines of my clothing. Cloud's free hand moved down, below his member, to grasp his large balls. He moaned out loudly, his hips lifting off the bed to thrust into his hand. I almost died at the sound. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. I should have left, I tried to make myself leave, but I couldn't. Even when I was panting almost as loudly as Cloud, I could do nothing but watch. Cloud proceeded to roll his smooth balls in his hand, occasionally giving them a tug. Meanwhile, his other hand continued to pleasure his manhood. Then, it happened. Cloud let out the loudest moan yet, squeezing his balls and lifting his hips high off the bed. I gasped as I watched an incredible amount of cum shoot out of his rod. Stream after stream, the white fluid shot into the air. I watched it as it fell down to hit his chest and abs. It was a gorgeous sight, to see this sex god sweating and moaning, his manhood pulsing, his balls tightening as his amazing muscles were covered in his juice.

Cloud walked into the bar, his hair still wet from his long shower. It had taken him a while to clean up. However, he was relieved to find that only Tifa was around. He didn't feel like facing the kids at the moment, especially not Denzel.

"So, did it work?" Tifa asked teasingly. She knew full well that it did, Denzel had not returned after she sent him to find Cloud.

"Yeah." Cloud grumbled, annoyed at being forced to do such a thing.

"Are you sure he stayed for the whole th-?"

"I heard him breathing Tifa." Cloud said as a ploy to end the conversation.

"Did he say anything?"

"What do you think? He was probably traumatised!" Cloud growled.

"You'll see, I bet he's doing it right now."

"He's asleep." Cloud lied, preparing himself a sandwich.

"Well maybe he already-"

"I checked on him before my shower _and_ after. He hasn't moved." Cloud lied again. Tifa sighed. She had been beaten, but...she knew how to win.

"Yeah...well, at least you enjoyed it." Cloud stopped, tensing up at her words.

"What?"

"Oh come on, I know more about boys and their toys than you think. Masturbating in front of someone else intensifies the pleasure. I bet you blew a huge load."

"Quiet, Tifa. That's not true. I hardly ever..." Cloud trailed off, not wanting to say it.

"I know. That's probably why you're so uptight. Maybe you should try it more often." Cloud scoffed. "Or maybe...we could try again." Cloud shivered. He remembered when he and Tifa had tried the last time. His problems with intimacy had ruined the whole thing. Tifa had shouted at him for hours. He didn't want to go through that again.

"No thank you." Tifa giggled.

"Well I think that what you did was very kind." Tifa said, hugging Cloud tightly. "It may seem like a weird way of helping someone, but I assure you, Denzel will feel a lot better now than he knows how natural this is and how to get rid of it."

"I guess. I just don't want the kid seeing me differently." Tifa giggled, stroking Cloud's arm.

"If anything, it will make you appear more human."


	3. Innuendos

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this chapter. No sex action but it should get you a bit hot, or at least get Denzel a bit hot. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I'm sorry that it is so late. My computer has been having problems. I know these chapters are really short! I will make them longer in the future, I just wanted to update as soon as I could. Enjoy! And please review. Your reviews so far have been great! Thank you so much!**

* * *

I haven't stopped thinking about Cloud since I saw him...well; I don't know what he was doing. But it looked like he really enjoyed it and it made his thingy go down. I replayed that cock-hardening scene over and over again. I had dreamed of Cloud for a while, wondered what his 'tool' was like. But it was far better than I thought. I had never dreamed it was so big, or so delicious-looking. It makes me sick to think about such things! I feel so dirty and gross for spying on him!

But, I'm eager to try out what I had seen Cloud perform. I decided to wait until tonight. With Marlene constantly wanting to spend time with me and the bar close to opening, (at which time I would have to go and help Tifa) it wasn't wise to try it yet. I'll do it just before bed and hopefully see the good effects soon after. I was good at making plans, I praised myself for it. If someone needed a plan, they sh-

_Knock, Knock._

"C-come in." I said in fear. I watched the door open; hoping so badly that it was Tifa or Marlene. My heart was crushed. It was _him_. Cloud. He walked into the room, glancing at me for a while. His gorgeous, blue eyes shone in the light. I could so easily lose myself in those eyes. I nearly did, but he soon hurried over to the chair just beside the bed I was lying on. I groaned silently as he sat on the chair, resting his elbows on his knees as he stare at me. I felt like rolling over to face the wall, but I would never turn my back on _him_.

"How are you?" Cloud asked suddenly. It confused me. Cloud never usually asked me how I was unless I looked incredibly ill.

"F-fine." I replied, the image of Cloud lying on his bed, holding his...was enough to make me stutter.

"Tifa told me that you see me as...a father figure." Cloud said, staring at the floor now. He wasn't used to the family thing; it still threw him into unknown waters. I just stared at him. He only mentioned that Tifa told him because he was uncomfortable, even Cloud wasn't so distracted that he hadn't noticed how much I looked up to him. "She said that as a father figure I need to be there if you have any questions about something...such as..." Cloud paused, glancing up at me nervously. "Boy things." My eyes widened. Talking to Cloud about _those_ kinds of things? After what I saw?

"O-okay." I replied, wanting him to leave. I could feel the heat in my cheeks rise and knew that I was blushing. Cloud nodded. I was relieved. That was all he wanted to say. I was so pleased to see him get up from his seat and-

_What is that?_ I asked myself staring at the front of his pants. A sort of bump was evident. Had I ever seen him this close before? Was he really _that_ big when he was...not hard? Wow! The sight sent shivers straight to my crotch, shooting through my body like a savage beast. A dirty, savage beast. Lost in my thoughts, I hardly noticed him leave. I had to blink a few times to realize he had gone. How I missed the bulge in my-

_No!_ I screamed at myself. _Stop thinking about that!_

* * *

For some reason or another, I fell asleep again. Perhaps it was because my night was 'interrupted' or because I just had nothing to do yet. Either way, it did me good to get another hour or so sleep. It meant I was nice and refreshed as I made my way downstairs.

Marlene was nowhere to be seen. I figured she was out with her friends or something. Good. That meant she wouldn't be bugging me. _I like Marlene._ I said to myself. _She's just a tad annoying sometimes._

I'd obviously been asleep for at least an hour, because the bar was open and full of people. I greeted a few of the people sat at the front. Luckily, it was far too early for anyone to be drunk. That was good. I don't like to see friendly faces when they're not themselves.

"Hey, Tifa." I said.

"Hi." She smiled at me. I didn't like it. That was the kind of smile she gave when teasing someone.

"Need a hand?" I offered, not that she wouldn't have asked anyway.

"Not today. Cloud needs you to give him a hand with Fenrir." She said. "If you don't mind." She quickly added, obviously trying to be polite to me.

"Okay." Surprisingly, I didn't mind. If we were working on Fenrir, we'd be too busy to feel awkward, right?

* * *

"Hey, Cloud." I said, kneeling down beside him. "Tifa said you needed a hand."

"Thanks." He said. His voice was so...calm? _Good save, Denzel!_

"What do you need?" I watched as Cloud wiped his mucky hands and observed the motorcycle, looking for what needed work.

"You can turn around and work on that bend. My rod won't be able to slide in if it's not relaxed enough." I would have choked if I was eating, or spat out my drink if I was drinking. But, I was not. So I merely froze at his words.

"W-what?" I asked, my voice shaking from shock. He stared at me, raising an eyebrow.

"That bend, it needs to be loosened for this rod to fit." He explained, holding up a metal cyclinder.

"Oh." I said, feeling like a moron. I swung round, blushing at my own stupidity and found the bend he was talking about. He was right, the tunnel had become too tight for the support rod to fit. So I picked up the spanner and, with all my strength, loosened the screws a bit. "Done!" I announced, turning to see him lying beneath the elevated vehicle.

"Thanks." He said.

"What now?"

"Can you give me a hand with this hard one?" He asked. "I just can't do it myself this time. It's so big, I'll need another pair of hands." I gulped, the scene of Cloud touching himself flashing through my mind.

"What?" I asked, my eyes widening.

"Down here. You need to be under the bike." I nodded, lying on my back next to him. I shivered at our closeness Now I saw what he meant. The support tube on the base of the bike was stuck at an odd angle. "Wrap your hands around it, not too tight." I did as he asked, gulping. Why didn't he choose his words more carefully? "Now tug." We both pulled on the tube, locking it back into its proper place.

"Anything else?" I asked. I crawled out from undr the bike as quick as possible. I didn't trust myself to be _that_ close to him for too long.

"Yeah. One more thing."

"What?" I asked, trying not to stare at his crotch.

"This pole's gotten a little stiff. Can you try riding it out?" My jaw dropped. I felt beads of seat trickle down my forehead as I stared at him, despite being unable to see his face.

"What?" I yelped.

"Turn on the ignition to ride it out. What is wrong with you today?" I blinked a few times, too scared to move. But, I had to so I made my way over to the bike, mounting it shakily. My body felt so weak and fragile as I turned it on. When I heard him shout that it was okay, I turned off the ignition and climbed off the bike.

"A-anything else?" I asked, needing to leave as soon as possible. _Don't get hard, don't get hard. _I chanted.

"Errrr, yeah. This sack's gotten a little dry, can you give it a good licking?" That was it. I nearly cried out as my cock twitched in my pants. I ran out the garage and rushed straight up the stairs to my room.

"What did I say?" A confused Cloud asked. "I just wanted him to fill up the water sack."


	4. Bitter Cold

**A/N:**** Sorry for the terribly late update. My computer has been having major issues lately. I'm trying to update all my stories as soon as possible, so bear with me. I'm mainly focusing on this story and my CloudxZack story 'SOLDIER's Are People Too'. So, as long as my computer works, updates from now on shouldn't be too late. I hope you enjoy this chapter. My CloudxZack is the one with the best storyline; featuring more than just romance, so check it out. I was considering making this a sequel and making one of the characters from my CloudxZack story appear in it, but I decided against it. So, for now, please enjoy and review! Suggestions are welcome as always and check out my other stories.**

* * *

The rest of the day was terribly awkward. I spent most of it inside my room, leaving only to grab a drink or something to snack on. I really didn't have anything to do. For a while, I just sat there bouncing a ball against my wall over and over again. I had, of course, considered trying out...y'know...the thing Cloud was doing...but, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Images of someone bursting in half way through flashed through my mind. It didn't really help that my door didn't have a lock, right? That's Tifa for you.

Marlene became my saviour when she entered my room (Good thing I didn't try it out, huh?). The thing she saved me from was complete and utter boredom. I usually got terribly annoyed with Marlene, always bugging me and wanting to play silly games...maybe that was how Cloud felt about Tifa...However, today was different. I was, somewhat, happy to go to pretend tea parties and pick out the best looking dress for each doll. Sure it was girly and stupid, but anything was better than just sitting around doing nothing, right? Not to mention, it helped distract me from certain thoughts relating to a certain man...

You get the point. Marlene and I just messed around until dinner time.

When Tifa's voice shattered our laughter, telling us to come downstairs for dinner, my stomach twisted several times. I was petrified of facing Cloud again, what if he mentioned something over dinner? No...Cloud never spoke when eating...What if he had told Tifa and _she_ mentioned it? Now that was possible! Not meaning to be rude...but Tifa does have a big mouth and when she sets her mind on something, there's no going back. Don't get me wrong, such determination can be a good thing, but not when it came to my secret. Which, if I wasn't more careful, wouldn't be secret for much longer.

However, much to my surprise, dinner went rather normal! We all discussed what we did- Cloud making tiny little inputs every now and then. I wasn't as nervous around him as before, and had almost forgotten the ordeal earlier that day. But, when Marlene told them about me helping her dress up the dolls, I noticed Cloud glance at me over the table. Then, a new worry settled in...Cloud thinking I was a girly-boy!

But, before I knew it, I was acting normal!

I was okay, no awkward moments, no nervous feelings, no-

"So, guys. I'm heading over to Yuffie's tonight, won't be back until tomorrow. Do you mind putting them to bed for me, Cloud?"

Damn it, Tifa! Not only did she interrupt my desperate cling to normality, but did she have to put it like that? Maybe it was just my perverted mind, but the way she asked the question made images whip through my mind like a hurricane.

As expected, Cloud mumbled a feeble 'sure', not really having any other choice. I felt sorry for him, in a way. Not wanting to say 'no', even if it was his answer. Then again...alone with Cloud...There was always Marlene, but she went to bed earlier than I did.

It was okay, as long as we didn't work on Fenrir, right?

Yeah, that's what I thought...

* * *

The evening was pretty dumb. I sat for about half an hour listening to Tifa giving Cloud instructions and numbers to call in case things went wrong- as if he had no idea how to look after kids! Then again...I suppose he really didn't. Either way, she was treating him like a total baby! I don't know why, but I hate it when she does that!

Luckily, she said goodnight and left before I got _too_ angry.

Fortunate for her! Not that I would have actually _done_ anything, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Either way, things were looking pretty cool.

Marlene went to bed at eight (Tifa's strict bedtime) whilst I stayed up with Cloud.

We talked about a lot of stuff, it was one of those long conversations where nothing really sinks in, you know?

I'm pretty sure we spoke about school, some bitching about Barret...

Oh, and Cloud told me about his time in SOLDIER!

It was pretty cool, I know I keep saying that, but that's the only way to describe it.

But, Cloud was exhausted.

Before long, he had said goodnight and left.

So, what was a boy to do?

T.V, duh!

But, I discovered something heart-breaking that night...

Something that burnt my heart mercilessly...

Something that took away all meaning in life...

T.V got boring!

I know, it's just terrible. After watching a few late-night shows, I found myself growing bored. I wasn't tired, just bored!

It's worse than discovering that Santa doesn't exist, or that being an adult isn't actually fun...No boy should have to go through the pain of learning the truth...That T.V cannot always satisfy you.

Okay...so maybe I'm being a little bit dramatic...But, can you blame me?

I was forced to switch the T.V off, not being able to stand another lame comedy. After collecting a glass of water, I also headed upstairs.

Marlene was asleep- I concluded, opening her door only slightly to peer in.

I entered my room with a sigh, placing my water down on the table beside my bed.

I _was_ going to just get in and fall asleep.

But, a picture caught my eye. It was a photo of a small brunette and a tall blond, on the beach together.

I felt warmth fill my body, my mouth stretching into a small smile. The memory was so uplifting.

_Cloud...I love you so much._

I had been so caught up in my sexual attraction to the man, that I had almost forgotten the absolute truth. It wasn't just lust, it wasn't just a crush...I _loved_ him. That's why I got mad any time Tifa treated him like a kid, that's why I did everything to be that bit closer.

My small fingers reached out, trailing down the form of my idol.

All the way from his blond spikes, to his god-chiselled chest, to his perfect abs, to the front of his swimming trunks.

_Oh, God! Cloud, I need you so much!_

That was it.

I had had enough! I wasn't going to hide anymore, I wasn't going to sit in the shadows like a beaten dog, showing no regard or respect to my own wants. I mattered too; my desires were just as important as anyone else's! I had to try, even if my hopes were crushed. I didn't want to visit Cloud in thirty years, still wondering what it would be like to touch him in _that_ way. I had to know, I just _had_ to! So what if he hated me afterward? Or if he never spoke to me again? Or if he and Tifa sent me away to an orphanage? At least I would know, at least I wouldn't have to imagine what it would be like.

It was time to pay attention to _my_ wants.

With a new, burning confidence, I stormed out of my room- forgetting all previous intent of going to sleep.

It was time.

I slowly pushed open the door to his room, trying to be as quiet as possible.

After all, if he woke up before I got a touch, my chance would be gone. I only had one shot.

The room was dark, yet a faint glimmer of silver light trailed through the partially-drawn curtains. The moonlight danced down from the sky to fall upon a sleeping form, the sleeping form of an angel. It was if the moon knew him, as though he belonged in the sky with it. I silently chuckled at my own musings as I stepped over the threshold, closing the door behind me.

I wasn't surprised to be greeted by silence. I had never heard Cloud snore before, which was surprising. Cloud had broken his nose several times, which usually resulted in a terrible snore during- what was supposed to be- a silent slumber.

I liked it that way. The fact that he slept so quietly, his gentle breath being the only thing emitting from him, made him appear that much more beautiful. Tifa had mentioned it before, saying that it was cute. I had, of course, screwed up my nose in disgust- trying to hide my own agreement with her opinion.

But, I ignored all thoughts of Tifa, ignored all thoughts of how Tifa would feel after this. I spent too long worrying about others; it was time to focus on myself. Everyone has to be selfish once in a while...even me.

And so, I crept forward, not taking my eyes off the bed (sat perfectly in the middle of the darkened room). My footsteps were almost silent.

Maybe I should explain in more detail...

This particular night was surprisingly cold. I had substituted my usual bed attire of a vest and boxer shorts with my pyjamas. As always, I had gotten dressed into my sleeping clothes after dinner, despite staying up quite a few hours after.

Even then, the cold was cruel. I could feel it sting at the little amount of flesh that was exposed. My face, my hands and my feet. They were all being nipped at by the cold air of Midgar.

But, I ignored it. It was just a mild discomfort, not enough to dissuade me from my 'mission'.

My bare feet slowly tip-toed across the soft carpet (which brought my toes no warmth), making a gentle thud every now and then.

I could feel my heart beating faster and faster as his face came into view. Blond spikes, perfectly wild- even whilst in bed- sitting upon the pale face of an angel. His eyes were closed, such a shame, his face muscles were relaxed and his lips were slightly parted, allowing his gentle breaths to slip past them.

Pounding, pounding, pounding, my heart was brutally pounding as I neared.

It was only when I was stood right next to the bed, staring at the curled up form of my idol that I realized how stupid I had been. I didn't even know what I was going to do. I had stormed out of my room so swiftly, selfish thoughts raging through my head, causing me to forget to actually make a plan! I had no idea what to do!

So, I just stared.

He was curled up in a ball, evidence of the bitter cold, his form confined to one side of the bed. It appeared that he had gotten so used to sleeping on only one side of the bed (whilst Tifa inhabited the other) that he hadn't bothered taking up anymore space than usual.

The covers were pulled up to just below his chin, revealing only his head to me. But, even that was more beautiful than anything mere imagination could form.

My Cloud.

My Hero.

My Angel.

My Idol.

I made my decision.

I slowly reached out. I watched my fingers as they shook, knowing it was not the result of the cold, but the result of my fear, I gripped the top corner of the covers farthest away from him, pulling them away slightly. I was glad to see that his body had not been uncovered, glad that I had not allowed the devilish cold to attack his sleeping form.

It was time.

It may sound ridiculous when I tell you what I did next. It may just seem insignificant, as though it wasn't worth all the hype. But, all I did was climb into the bed, throwing the covers over myself.

Some people in my position would have been able to do it without a second thought, as though it were easy. But, for me it was not. Cloud and I didn't exactly have an open relationship, making me hesitant to get close to him. Tifa usually helped with things when it came to emotional stuff. But...Tifa wasn't here. A smile crept across my face as my mind pondered the situation. If my Cloud woke up, I would just tell him that I had a nightmare. That would work. Just like Tifa did earlier that evening, I would take advantage of his inability to say 'no'. I would ask if I could stay with him, maybe lie and say that I dreamt of Kadaj coming back to hurt me. With no Tifa here to deal with it, Cloud would have to let me stay in his bed.

It was a good idea. I finally had a plan!

But, that would be a lame excuse if I got too touchy. Oh, well! What did it matter anymore? I'd come this far, hadn't I?

I glanced over at his gorgeous face, feeling my heart race at the sight. I'd never understood the term 'my heart skipped a beat'. How was that even possible? Whoever had come up with such a term was surely insane, right? But, I think I get it now. For a moment, it actually felt like my heart had skipped a beat, like it had just forgotten to work for a moment. But, it wasn't scary or frightening, it was riveting. With the moonlight dancing over his face, I couldn't help but notice how it made his skin gleam. It were as though his skin had actually been made for the moonlight, it was so beautiful.

I moved my hand beneath the covers, reaching out to just touch him. Just an innocent touch with not-so-innocent motives behind it. I almost gasped aloud as my fingertips grazed against the bare skin of his chest.

He couldn't be!

I carefully lifted up the covers, looking beneath them quickly. Even in the darkness, I could make out his pale skin. All he was wearing was a measly pair of boxers, nothing else. I felt my heart sink at the new piece of knowledge, lowering the covers again. I looked over at his face again, turning my body on to its side. Poor Cloud, he must have been absolutely freezing! But, of course, Cloud didn't own pyjamas, he had nothing to sleep in other than boxers. He could always wear his day clothes, but knowing Cloud- he would find it uncomfortable.

That was it. That was when I lost all reason. I wasn't planning to reach into his boxers and touch him _there_ anymore, I was no longer planning on rubbing myself against him. I wanted only one thing...to make him warm.

And so, shuffled forward on the bed, nearing him with my pounding heart. And, I wrapped my little arms around his bare shoulders, pulling him close.

I didn't know about Cloud, but I was filled with pleasuring warmth, despite the bitterness of his cold skin. He made my stomach leap.

I lost all sense, all restraint; all cling to what was right and wrong. I merely moved myself to him, pressing us together lightly. At that point, I wasn't thinking about my sexual desires, merely my love for him.

Then, it happened. His knees shuffled, moving from in between us as his body stretched out. I felt big, muscled arms wrap themselves around my little form- extracting a slight gasp from me. And, my body was pulled closer to my idol, pressing us together firmly. And, a sigh was emitted from his lips, brushing past my ear with shuddering warmth.

Cloud was still asleep, I could sense it, but he was reacting to the sudden presence beside him, pulling it closer so as to cherish the warm embrace. It made me feel loved...so loved. I moved my faced down, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. I brushed my cheeks against the cool skin with a sigh of my own, feeling him tense beneath the breath. That's when I knew for certain...I was more than infatuated with him...I was in loved with him.

And so, as I felt our bodies crushed together, as though trying to meld them in to one- every one of his muscles brushing against my clothed form- I moved my head back up. For a moment, my eyes took in the sight of his pared lips, merely staring. But, I didn't stop at just looking. I moved in, closing my eyes in relief at the chance to live out my dreams, and readied my lips, pressing them against his own...

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A/N:

** Sorry to leave it at a cliff-hanger, but you will have to wait! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I think you'll like the next one even more. My interest in this pairing has reached an all time high once again, and I'm trying to make up for my lack of editing. I hope you enjoyed the increased length and better content. I hope to have the next chapter up soon. Until then, please review!**


	5. Molestation

**A/N:**** Hey guys! I didn't want to make you wait for too long, so I focused on this story and this story only! This chapter was wonderful to write, I love writing from Denzel's point of view. I was thinking of switching to Cloud's for this chapter, but that wouldn't be as good (I think), so I stuck with Denzel. Also, I noticed a lot of grammatical errors in my last chapter, sorry. I was in such a rush to update that I forgot to proof read it! I'll check this one and make sure there are no mistakes in it. Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review!**

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I moved in, closing my eyes in relief at the chance to live out my dreams, and readied my lips, pressing them against his own...

Fireflies burst free from my mind, lighting up my world with their golden dance of joy. They gathered together, showing their love, as they formed one simple word: Cloud.

Behind my eyelids, the light of my fantasies were blinding- filling me with an incredible feeling, a feeling that banished all fear, all sorrow. I felt like I would never be sad again, like this happiness was eternal.

This was _the_ greatest moment of my young life.

His lips were soft, not one chip or crack on them, like the caressing silk of a woman's dress. I exploded with emotions, feeling my head spin and my heart pound.

He didn't react, just lay there- unknowing...clueless.

But, I didn't care.

I released a desperate moan against him, feeling the vibration shake both of our lips together. So, I applied more force, crushing them together.

My first kiss...

And I wouldn't have wanted it with anyone else.

My instincts ruled me that cold night, guiding me with their demanding hands. They led me to run my tongue along his bottom lip, moaning again. I must have sounded so dumb, like a girl, but it didn't matter. My tongue darted across the surface of his bottom lip, before slipping into his parted mouth. That was when I lost my mind.

My tongue dashed around his mouth, like a new dog brought home, exploring every dip and hiding place. It ran along his teeth, the roof of his mouth, and the insides of his cheeks. Then, it wrapped around something...

I released the loudest, sexually-driven, moan of my life (so far) at that moment.

His tongue was wet, but warm. It sent shivers throughout my body- but cold didn't travel with it. I had never felt something so good before.

It was the greatest thing I had ever felt, I can't stress that enough. I was young and had never kissed like this before. But, I knew that kissing a sleeping Cloud would be better than kissing anyone else- awake or not.

But, it couldn't last.

I ran out of breath, having made little preparation before hand, and was forced to withdraw.

I panted lightly as I stared at his glistening lips, moistened by my own devious tongue. Nothing could have stopped the smile that made its way to my own lips, my tongue darting across them just to taste him again.

And, I had no regrets, no fears.

Leaning forwards, I rested my head in his neck once again. It was my favourite place to be, at that moment. To nuzzle into that place, to inhale his gorgeous scent.

The smell of Mako was definitely there, but it wasn't putrid or nasty. Because that artificial smell was covered, wrapped in the musky scent of Cloud. He smelt so nice. It made me moan a little, just inhaling his manly aroma.

Then, I licked my lips again, paying closer attention to his taste. He tasted of...of...Cloud? I don't know. There was no certain taste, just a nice blend of things. Take all of your favourite foods; mix them together into a perfect tasting dish...that was Cloud. The perfect smell, the perfect taste.

I felt my lithe form being pulled to him once again, his arms tightening their hold on me. I smiled. I was Cloud's source of warmth in this bitter night. He was depending on _me_ to keep him warm. That kept me going. I pressed into him, pulling my arms down to rest in the small gap between us.

"Cloud...I love you." I murmured. Of course, he did not reply. I would have been scared shitless...I mean...scared out of my mind if he did. He was asleep. I could still feel it.

I wondered just what he was dreaming of after my kiss. Were images of Tifa flooding his mind? Yeah, probably.

But, that didn't stop me. My spirits, having been raised by the kiss, filled me to the brim with an incredible confidence.

My hands brushed along his chest lovingly. I flattened my palms against his strong pecs, feeling his incredible muscle. His skin was soft under my touch, yet it covered hard muscle, creating a nice product of suppleness. I rubbed my cheek against his neck as I traced my fingers over him.

My index finger (of my right hand) moved around his nipple, darting over it gently every now and then. Meanwhile, my other fingers stroked his chest.

He pulled me even closer, as though trying to crush us in to one.

So, I took it as an invitation to continue.

I moved one hand down to his stomach. I had always been amazed (whenever I got to see him without a shirt on) by how well-defined his abs were. They were perfectly formed, a brilliant six-pack. But, to touch them. My hands glided over his stomach, stroking each indent tentatively, afraid I might wake him. Yet, nothing was going to stop me until then. Until he told me to stop himself, I wouldn't. Never.

I mewled against his neck, kissing the skin gently. I loved him.

I couldn't believe this was happening.

I loved him! And I was touching him! Granted, he was asleep and hadn't actually _given_ me permission...so it was kinda molestation...oh, to hell with it!

I was molesting Cloud in his sleep, without him knowing about it! And you know what? I have no regrets!

His warm breath urged me on, gliding across my hair like the soft breeze of the summer.

I was gonna keep him warm, I was gonna stop him from getting cold.

I arched my back against him, pushing my clothed erection into his stomach, where it slid across his skin.

I moaned against his neck again as I was filled with the greatest feeling of all...pleasure. His hands were on my back, unmoving. Yet, I imagined them rubbing me lovingly- as though he wanted this.

That was it.

My hand trailed down to the waistband of his boxers, feeling along the elasticised waist at the top. I had no idea what I was doing. I just wanted him...to feel good.

My seeking fingers brushed over a soft pillow of hair as they slipped under the waistband. I inhaled, only to have the breath held in my lungs- too afraid to release it into his neck.

'_Come on, I'm here.'_

Cloud. He did everything he could to save me, to heal my geostigma. He loved me. Granted, he didn't love me on the same level as I loved him, but love was love no matter which angle you were observing it from.

Thoughts of love and him filled my head as my lithe fingers curled around something large and soft. I let out a small gasp into the crook of his neck as I realized what I was holding, feeling idiotic for not expecting it.

I was holding his...his...

I gently squeezed the organ in my palm, as if to make sure I was not imagining. I definitely wasn't. As more pressure was applied, the man pressed next to me let out a low whimper. Not the pathetic whimper dogs gave out when they were hurt or frightened, but a strong whimper full of masculinity. It was such a soft and quiet sound, but it made me thrust forward, rubbing my little erection against his stomach again.

As I held my hand still, not loosening my grip one bit, I felt a heat form in my hand, warming me. And then, I felt something grow...something hard.

I glanced up at his face as I held his hardening member, only to see him still sleeping softly- eyes still closed like a solemn angel.

He was hard...that meant he liked this, right?

Either way, I moved my hand- copying Cloud's hand actions that morning- sliding my hand along the hard object. The man beside me let out a slight groan, hardly audible (good thing I was so close).

My other hand slid from in between us to take one of Cloud's entangling my fingers with the man's.

I wanted Cloud to touch me too.

After a desperate and shaky breath, I pulled his hand down to slide across our bodies. Lifting up the waistband of my pyjama bottoms, I pushed his hand inside. The feel of his hand on the skin of my leg made me hum into his neck, nuzzling it once again. But, I kept going. I pushed his hand into my boxers and clutched his fingers in preparation.

This was so wrong.

It was bad enough that _I _was doing this to _him_! But, to make him touch me without his permission...was so wrong.

Not that it stopped me.

Sure, it made me pause, hesitate...but I curled his fingers around my erection, forcing him to hold it.

I yelped, trying to hush myself by pushing my mouth into his skin, making sure not to bite. His hand, rough from the constant use of a sword, felt perfect against my length. My head spun at the feeling.

I removed my hand from my pants, just letting him hold me, but I continued with my other.

I gently rubbed my thumb over the head of his member, spreading the precum across it. He groaned again, clenching his hand over my erection.

I moaned into his neck for the hundredth time, thrusting forward into his hand.

I felt tingly inside, like a building pressure- preparing to explode within me!

Hearing him moan louder against my hair snapped me out of my trance. I may have been daring, but not even _I_ was _stupid_ enough to keep going.

My hand darted out of his boxers, my other removing his hand from mine. A gentle _snap_ filled the air as the waistband of my pyjamas slapped against my waist. I immediately closed my eyes, squeezing them tight as I rested my hands against my face, forcing myself to release gentle breaths onto them. I wiggled my little hips into a better position, one where my hard member wasn't rubbing against him and then...I stayed perfectly still. If there was one thing I was good at...it was pretending to be asleep.

It went silent next to me, my gentle breaths the only sound emitting from the darkness. The heard the covers rustle, feeling the body beside me shuffle around a bit.

_Good call, Denzel._ I praised myself. _Just in time!_

I heard the easily recognizable groans of a waking man as the feeling of Cloud's body against mine vanished.

"Denzel?" The startled cry snapped the silence in two, allowing the splintered pieces to fall...okay, so I'm a bit dramatic... Either way, his normal tone- mixed with the presence of shock and confusion- was so cute! Gaia, I really do sound like a girl!

Any moment now he would discover his aroused state.

3

2

1

"What the-?"

There we go. I heard the covers rustle around frantically, feeling them pulled from me slightly, all just to cover his lap.

"Cloud." I mumbled, pretending to be in the middle of waking up. There was no use going on as though I were asleep, was there? He'd just wake up. My only fear was if he knew that I had been touching him...that would be the worst.

"Denzel, what are you doing here?" He lowered his tone to a whisper. I rolled peered up at his gorgeous face, his confused look only turning me on even more. His head was slightly tilted to the side, a pout on his lips and his shimmering eyes slightly widened. It was the most beautiful I had seen.

"I...I had a nightmare..." I mumbled.

"Nightmare?"

"C-can I sleep with you? I'm so scared..." My voice sounded pathetic, pleading- just as I had intended. Pushing my plan forward, I wiggled closer to him- latching onto his arm protectively. He tensed at my touch; I could feel the muscles in his arm ripple from fear as my arms wrapped around his one. I nuzzled my face into the skin, inhaling that musky scent once again.

"Denzel, you can't."

"Please." I whined, sniffling to add effect. "I dreamt Kadaj came back and...and...hurt me." That had done it. I knew from the moment the words left my mouth that I had hooked him on. There was no way he would turn me away now.

"Tonight's not the best time..." He mumbled, obviously trying to keep his erection away from me.

"Tonight's when I had the dream." I reminded him, pulling him closer. He was now sat upright in the bed, looking down at me with softened features. Poor Cloud.

"But I..."

"What's wrong?" I asked him, pouring as much concern into the question as I could muster. It was stupid, he would get mad, but I had a new plan. Wiggling around, I moved one of my arms, letting it sprawl across my body.

"Nothing's wrong, it just isn't the best time."

Oh really? My arm moved, gliding over his erection gently.

Phase 2.

I let out a shocked gasp, trying not to laugh, and yanked my arm away. I watched him close his eyes, as though wishing that this were all a dream...I must admit...I felt guilty. But, I remembered my vow to pay attention to my own desires for once!

"What was that?" I asked in a wheezy breath, my eyes darting in between his face and his covered lap.

"Sorry." He mumbled, finally opening those beautiful eyes. Yet, they just looked down in shame.

"What was it?"

"I think you know..." He whispered.

"Was it your...thing?" I watched his blond-covered head nod slowly, still avoiding my gaze. If all went to plan, I'd get to touch him while he was awake! "Are you gonna do what you did this morning?"

He released a loud groan, as though he were annoyed. "Sorry!" I added, this time my shock was sincere. I didn't want him to be angry with me. "I didn't mean to...I just...you were...and then your thing got soft again..." I trailed off, nuzzling into his arm again.

"It's fine, Denzel." Thank goodness! He didn't sound annoyed, just...off put.

"Are you gonna do it now?" I asked curiously. He shook his head, the moonlight reflecting off his pale skin elegantly. "Why not?"

"Because..." He sighed, his breath turning to fog as it was released into the air. Was it really that cold? "It's private and shouldn't be done in front of others."

"Oh. Does it feel good?" I asked curiously. I knew the answer, after having been touched by Cloud and from his moans, but I wanted to hear him say it.

"Yeah."

There was a pause. During which, I pondered what to say next. I knew what I wanted to bring the topic to, there was no doubt there, but I didn't know how to steer it there...until!

"Cloud, y'know when you said I could come to you about...'boy things', did you mean it?" He froze up at my words, his body becoming stiff under my touch.

"I...yeah."

"I don't understand..." A pause, in which I nuzzled him again. Just to be able to rub my cheeks against his bare skin while he was awake was a miracle! I had never gotten so close. "Could you show me?"

"No." He said bluntly, taking no time at all to reply.

"I know it's private and everything...but...I've already seen you do it once...And...I need to know..."

"It's not hard, Denzel."

_Oh but it is! I know it is, I was just touching it!_

I knew that wasn't what he was talking about, but my mind just couldn't focus on anything other than the object lurking beneath the covers.

"Most boys work it out on their own. Just...touch..." His voice trailed off into a murmur as he buried his face in the palms of his hands. Once the arm had been snatched from my grasp, I sat up as well. Cloud didn't seem angry, he was clueless to my previous activities.

"Like this?" I asked in the best innocent voice could muster. My hands pushed back the covers, revealing both of our clothed bulges. My right hand darted into my pyjama bottoms, grasping my little member without pulling out into view. I groaned at the feeling, bucking my hips slightly at the cold touch of my hand. Cloud's hands had felt much better, but there was nothing wrong with this- my own hand was the next best thing in fact.

"Denzel." He whispered, lowering his hands to reveal his gorgeous face.

I sneakily imitated the same movements my hand had used on _his_ erection earlier, and rubbed my rod up and down slowly- letting out hushed whimpers.

"It's not something to be done in front of others."

"But, I'm scared something will go wrong." I pleaded, not removing my hand. "I need you here with me the first time."

"Nothing bad will happen."

"That's like telling me that Kadaj won't come back, it doesn't make it less scary!" I retorted, my tone slipping into the well-know matter-of-fact one.

I heard his disgruntled sigh echoing through the cold air, shattering my hope for his cooperation. "Can I at least sleep with you?" I asked, slipping my hand out of my pyjama bottoms.

"Alright."

And so, we shuffled down to lay beneath the covers. He returned to the same position he had been earlier, on his side facing the middle of the bed, whilst I switched the way I was facing. I moved so my back was facing him, wriggling backwards into his arms (which wrapped around my small form). I felt safe like this; with his cool breath on my neck, his strong arms holding me and my backside pressed into his lap.

I sighed at the feeling of his heated crotch pressed in between my cheeks. To my absolute joy, he was still erect- his manhood pushing against the material of the boxers to poke my rear.

I wanted to continue with my molestation, but sleep eventually took hold of me, lulling me into its cold embrace.

Maybe another day...

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A/N:

** Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry to disappoint with the lack og actual sex but I thought it was too early or anything to happen to them. I'm gonna make you wait! Not too long though. Let's just say...something is going to happen between them soon, so keep reading! I can't wait to update and will do so within the next few days, until then- enjoy and review!**


	6. Friends Live On

**A/N:**** As promised, here is Chapter 6! I am determined to keep teasing you, please forgive me! Think of it as building suspense or hyping it up. Either way, I hope enjoy this chapter. By the way, your reviews for the last chapter were great! Thanks a lot, when I get reviews like that- it makes me want to write more immediately after! So anyway...please enjoy and review! Also, I finally switched to Cloud's P.O.V! I just couldn't resist building on how confused he is!**

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Last night felt like such a dream. However, it wasn't often my dreams took such a strange turn. Not to mention, unless it was one of those rare occasions in which a person dreams about dreaming- then it hadn't been a dream. It was strange, confusing.

I vaguely remembered falling feathers, gliding past my eyes with a shallow dance- not even trying to hide their darkness. Those feathers, they caused Sephiroth to enter my dream- then he caused Genesis to appear, who caused Valon **(character from CloudxZack story)** to materialize, who-in turn- brought Zack into the picture.

Memories had flooded my mind, as they often did whilst I was asleep. Memories of my battles with Sephiroth, memories of Zack staring at a black feather he had retrieved from Genesis, memories of Valon and Zack teasing me- just like they used to. It made my heart ache. I missed my days in ShinRa. It may sound strange, but they were the most care-free times of my life. I would spend days on end with Zack, my main concern being Valon and his pranks. My dream didn't- for the first time- turn to Valon's betrayal and Zack's death.

No. I was interrupted before such sad thoughts could fill my head. By what? By the familiar sensation in my crotch.

Then, my dream took a drastic turn.

Images of Zack and...and I...doing stuff.

Zack running his hands down me, whispering words of comfort to my 15-year-old self as his cold hand slipped into my boxers, wrapping itself around my manhood. It was strange...as far as I remembered, Zack's hands had been hard and rough (much like my own) rather than soft. But, who cared?

I started touching Zack too, moaning at our activities.

And then?

Then I woke up.

I awoke to find myself painfully hard, with Denzel beside me. And, I felt disgusted. How could I get in such a state with Denzel sleeping next to me? Had I touched him accidently? Did he know?

It was awful to believe that I might have...that I could...

But, Denzel would have said something if I...wouldn't he? Unless he was too traumatized...

I pushed the thoughts aside as I slipped from beneath the covers, careful to avoid waking the small boy curled up in the sheets. The sight brought a faint smile to my lips, so faint that I doubt anyone else would have noticed it had they been watching. But, as long as I was aware of it, nothing else mattered.

He seemed so peaceful, draped in silken sheets, his face relaxed. But, I turned away quickly. I wouldn't like it if someone watched me sleep, so I wasn't going to watch someone else do the same.

I gathered some clean clothes from my wardrobe, slinging them on the edge of the bed- thoughts of Zack and Denzel and how alike they were rushing through my mind as I did.

_Excitable, loving, innocent, pure, kind, generous, accepting and, most of all...they both care for me._

They really were quite similar, not in appearance, but in heart.

I shook my head at my foolish thoughts, ridding myself of any comparison. If I kept trying to find similarities between them, I may have ended up falling in love with Denzel.

I sighed as I stripped off my boxers, shame burning inside me as I saw the stain on the front, glancing at the sleeping boy momentarily.

I quickly pulled on a clean pair of boxers and some baggy pants, not bothering with the top for now. I decided to have my shower at a later and more reasonable hour, fully aware of how dim the sunlight was (hardly able to penetrate the cloth of the curtains).

And so, I made my way out of the room, leaving the sweet boy behind me. After quickly checking on, a still sleeping, Marlene, I headed downstairs to the bar.

The house was silent, save for the occasional creak of a floorboard or the rare squeak of a lucky mouse that had escaped Tifa's monstrous wrath. It relaxed me to know that I could enjoy the morning alone, ignoring the bitterness of the air. Just like last night, the wind was cruelly cold- biting at the exposed skin of my torso. However, after fighting Sephiroth, nothing really bothered me too much.

But, the air led my thoughts back to the night before. It was strange. Despite waking after my inappropriate dream, it was the most peaceful night I had ever had. It was something about the way Denzel snuggled up to me, the way I held him close. Tifa was also one to cuddle during the night, but when she did it I grew terribly annoyed. However...Denzel's touch had lulled me into a soft and undisturbed slumber, one I hadn't had since sleeping beside...

_No, don't think about him!_

A small sigh slipped past my numb lips, stroking them as it left in a futile attempt to bring them back to life. I knew that I had to find a distraction, before all this went too far.

_A quick walk will snap me out of it._ I decided, ignoring the bite of the beast known as cold.

So, I hurried to the door, hoping to leave all thoughts of Denzel and Zack behind as I left. Just a quick walk around the block would do, anything to forget these buried feelings that were now resurfacing.

A harsh wind sliced at my skin once the door was opened, killing every nerve it stroke as it rushed into the bar. It pained my body, but pain was good. Yeah, pain would help me forget.

"What the-?" I said, rather startled as my bare foot connected with something that wasn't the ground. I glanced down, wriggling my toes on top of the object. An envelope. I came to the conclusion before even seeing it with my eyes, recognising the feel of the thick paper.

_It's too early for post._

I groaned to myself as I bent down, picking up the envelope hurriedly.

_Okay, I'll read this and then go for a walk._

I assured myself that the walk was coming as I shut the door, my body loosening in relief at the loss of cold as I trudged over to the front of the bar again.

The envelope had no stamp, which explained why it was here before the post. The sender must have delivered it himself/herself during the night or the early morning. The envelope itself seemed old and crinkled, rough to the touch.

I sighed as I opened it, pulling out a small square of paper. I examined both sides of the paper with fading hope, realizing that it wasn't worth my time. Save for three measly words, the paper was blank. So, I read the words, not really seeing the point.

'Friends Live On'

My fingers snapped open instantly, dropping the paper onto the surface of the bar. I glared at the words with eyes wide, my heart thumping at a pace that rivalled that of which it pumped during the battle with Sephiroth mere months ago. My body froze, not from cold but from fear as I reread the words.

'Friends Live On'

'Friends Live On'

'Friends Live On'

I shook my head, my mouth opening to shout at the paper, to tell it that it was being ridiculous. However, I managed to gather my senses before the cry left my lips. Losing all strength in my body, I slumped onto one of the bar stools, burying my face in my hands. It just couldn't be. In three seconds, the paper would be gone. Yeah, that was it. It was just an illusion, a cruel mirage created by the morning. Or...it was a dream and I would wake up.

**1**

Yep, I would snap out of it any second now. Those words would be gone and I would continue life in peace, never to be haunted by them again.

**2**

That's right. I would feel like an idiot for imagining such ridiculous things, I would open my eyes to see the wood- no paper resting upon it.

**3**

_Here goes._

I moved my hands, allowing my eyes to peer through my shaking fingers.

_Damn it!_

It was real. The paper was there, the words still lingering on its surface, scratching at my eyes without mercy.

_Damn it, damn it, damn it!_

My heart felt as though the cool blade of Masume had pierced it, plunging my body into a terrible cold. Never had I been so frightened, so scared, so hopeless. I was Cloud. I was meant to be strong and emotionless...

'Friends Live On'

I knew those words well. They were familiar, yet from a time long ago. It was like meeting someone you hadn't seen for a long time- their face seemed so recognisable yet they appeared so...distant.

I slowly reached out, my fingertips shivering from fright as they made their way through the cold air. Slipping my hand inside the envelope, I felt my fingers curl around a thin yet hard object. It felt like a small twig...no...

I pulled he object out.

For the second time in mere moments, my fingers snapped open- dropping the object onto the wood.

There it was.

It glistened it the dim light of the morning sun, its white fibres causing a heavenly glow around it. It landed gracefully on the wood, stroking its surface briefly before coming to a halt.

_**Sephiroth...**_

"_Is this the pain you felt before, Cloud? Let me remind you...this time you won't forget."_

_A flash of black and the fall of shadows._

_**Genesis...**_

"_Then I shall willingly accept my fate. But, I'll take the world with me!"_

_A burst of darkness, casting its shadow upon the ground as it shattered, raven shards falling._

_**Angeal...**_

"_His wings were different from Genesis's. I know that he's not a monster, Cloud. You believe me, right?"_

_Stories of shimmering white._

_**Valon...**_

"_Laughter can't save me anymore, Cloud. It's over...I don't deserve friends like you."_

_The flash of glowing white, the fall of heavenly sentinels as they danced to the ground._

All of them...feathers.

Just like my dreams.

And now, sitting before me on the wood of Tifa's bar, was a similar feather. It was bleach white, like those belonging to the angels in all of those children's stories. Beautiful, yet haunting.

"Valon..." It came out as a whisper, my eyes glancing between the words and the feather. They pointed to one thing. I now knew who had sent the envelope and its contents...

'Friends Live On'

Those words were a promise between three young men in SOLDIER, a sworn duty to protect each other's memory even if they died. I could remember...Zack, Valon and I made that promise using those words.

Then there was that feather. Only Angeal and Valon had such feathers.

_But, Valon died._

_You don't know that._

_He couldn't have survived._

_Are you sure?_

_Then why didn't he find us?_

_Shame?_

I growled under my breath as I debated the matter with myself. There was no other conclusion to be made...Valon had sent these...

"Cloud?"

My head snapped up at the whisper, my ears finally picking up the faint sound of shuffling footsteps. I quickly threw the paper and the feather back into the envelope, slipping it behind the bar as fast as I could as the footsteps approached.

"Cloud?" The voice repeated, sounding far closer than before.

I turned myself to face the intruder of this quiet morning.

Instantly, I gulped, returning all of my strength to the deepness of my stomach as I swallowed.

"Denzel, what are you doing up?" I murmured, my lips still numb.

"I don't know. How about you?" The pyjama-clad boy shuffled forwards, leaving the safety of the staircase to approach me.

"I just woke up." I said, not really having a reason myself. I watched as the boy made his way over, realizing that he wasn't going to stop until we were touching. Was he expecting endless hugs now just because he slept with me once?

_That came out wrong..._

"Thanks." The boy wrapped his arms around my middle as best he could (what with me being seated and everything) and buried his face in my lap.

_No, no! Don't put your mouth anywhere near..._

"For letting me sleep with you."

"It's okay." I said, a little quickly. I reached down and lifted the boy up, dragging his face away from my crotch. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I placed him on my knee instead, giving him a forced smile. He instantly collapsed on me, burying his head into my shoulder and wrapping his arms around my neck.

I sighed into his hair, actually finding the touch soothing. It was unusual for me to actual want to be touched, but something about the brunette relaxed me...kinda like when I used to hang around with Zack. A new guilt filled me at that moment. Not guilt relating to Zack's death nor to Aerith's death. No. This was a new guilt. One that concerned the boy now clutching at me protectively.

Denzel.

Just like Tifa had said, he adored me. He wanted me to be his father figure and yet, I had treated him like an insignificant leaf on the wind- giving him hardly any notice. How cruel could one man be? I wasn't alone, I had everything a guy could want. Tifa, Denzel and Marlene. It would all be perfect if I wasn't...if I wasn't...gay. If Tifa and I were together, officially, then it would all be norma-

"Can we go back upstairs?" He asked, nuzzling my neck again. I gave him a quick nod, before gathering the boy in my arms carefully- the way you would hold a baby. Slowly, I got to my feet, holding him close to me, watching him bury his face in my neck. Why did he keep doing that?

_Well, so much for that walk._

I battered myself (mentally) for not going through with my original plan. But, I wanted Denzel to go back to sleep, the boy didn't need to be up this early, and the warm bed sounded so inviting at the moment.

My eyes didn't even glance at the bar as I strolled past, all thoughts of the feather and the note having left my mind. Instead, I carried the small boy up the stairs, careful not to wake Marlene. Once I reached the top of the stairs, I turned right to head to his room- not really wanting him so close to me at the moment. However, I felt something tug on my arm. Looking down, I instantly saw the determination in his little face and I knew that he was going to win.

"Can I sleep in your bed?" He asked, a pout forming on his lips. I knew the technique well. Long ago, when I still had my innocence, I used to do the same to anyone who I wanted to control- mainly Zack. I never thought something so simple would work on me, especially being an ex-master of said technique. But, I turned and headed back to my room nonetheless.

The sun seemed a bit brighter as it glided through the material of the curtains, now able to penetrate the fabric with ease. However, I knew it was still early despite not having actually checked the time via the clock downstairs.

I placed Denzel on Tifa's side of the bed, hoping that she wouldn't come home before he left the bed. She would tease me about being a 'father' and all that. Don't get me wrong, I was trying my best to be a good father figure, but even being teased about that would be annoying.

Deciding to abandon all plans of that walk, I sat on my side of the bed. Just when I was about to pull the sheets over us, Denzel had jumped into me again. I sighed in slight annoyance as his arms wrapped round me again, but didn't dare push him off. Once again, his face found its way to my neck, nuzzling it for the hundredth time that morning. Pretty soon, the boy was practically on top of me, forcing memories of my dream to burst through my mind again.

Zack had been on top of me as well...

Denzel buried his face deeper into my neck, his cheeks turning a deep red from embarrassment. And I knew why. I could feel it. A hard object was prodding my lower stomach, coming from the boy's crotch area. My mouth opened in an attempt to speak at the sudden situation, yet my words failed me. What was I supposed to say to the boy? Poor Denzel must have been mortified to get an erection whilst so close to his idol. I pitied him.

So much like Zack...But so different...

Denzel...

"It's okay." I whispered into his ear, feeling him shiver beneath my breath's cold caress. It was stupid and mere speculation. But, memories of just last night flooded back into my head. I had been asleep but, I hadn't been alone. Denzel had been beside me...Someone had been nuzzling into my neck. In my dreams, it had been Zack who had his nose buried in the space between my neck and shoulder. Zack had never done that to me before, so why would I dream of him doing it? Also, a hand had gripped me. Zack's hands had been rough due to the use of his sword. However, the hand that touched me last night had been soft and gentle.

And now, Denzel was nuzzling my neck and his hands were soft and gentle on my back.

It all made sense now. It hadn't been _I_ who had touched Denzel during my slumber...no. Denzel had planned it all. Since when did he have nightmares? It was all made up. A sly little genius.

I breathed into his ear again, my right hand slipping between us. I still can't explain what possessed me. You would think that an ex-SOLDIER would have more self control. I wasn't a teenager anymore; I was a fully grown warrior. But, I missed those days so much...Days with Zack and Valon, days in ShinRa, days of happiness. Maybe, just this once, I could relive those days.

My fingers slipped past his waistband, entering the boxers beneath his pyjama bottoms. I felt his breathing increase in speed, the breaths coming out short and fast against my neck- filling me with warmth.

This was so wrong. I should have given him a fatherly lecture and explained things. My relationship with Zack had been wrong as well, that relationship had been frowned upon but we didn't care...To relive those days...

My rough fingers slowly curled around the boy's hard member, gently squeezing it.

He yelped against my neck as I touched him.

A morning full of coincidences. My thoughts had been on Zack, who had led my thoughts to Denzel. It was as though the ravenette was guiding me from the lifestream, telling me to move on...I didn't understand how I truly felt towards Denzel. It was difficult to know whether the love stretched beyond platonic, or whether I was just sexually starved.

Either way, all thoughts of the feather and the note left me. I would have to worry about those another time.

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**

A/N:

** Cliffhanger! I'm not really happy with the way this turned out. I think it came on too fast and suddenly, but I might be able to fix that in future chapters! Next chapter I will return to Denzel's P.O.V. I hope you liked this chapter. I know the feather and the note thing seems random and out of place but, please remember it! I needed something to get them together (at the moment they are not together, Cloud is just 'helping Denzel out'). I'm going to build on Cloud's memories of Zack and his friendship with Valon as a way of getting him to eventually fall for Denzel. I wasn't going to have Denzel show up at all originally, but I thought you deserve something for your wait. However, I may as well warn you, it won't go beyond masturbation until Cloud discovers his feelings for Denzel (In later chapters). Anyway, please enjoy and review!**


	7. My Name

**A/N:**** I am SO SORRY for the late update! Originally, this was just gonna be a masturbation session; but I thought you deserved something a bit more for having to endure the wait.**

**Thanks for your reviews for the last chapter; they really helped me make a decision. As I said in the A/N at the end of the last chapter- I didn't like how it turned out. I didn't know whether to bother with my OC or not, but you guys have helped me with that. From here on, Valon will not be mentioned again, EVER! The feather won't be mentioned either, however- I may mention the note once or twice whilst in Cloud's P.O.V to remind him that he does have friends but it won't be more than a sentence each time it comes up. I'm gonna focus on Cloud and Denzel from now on!**

**Okay, I've returned to Denzel's P.O.V now- but seeing as some of you liked Cloud's view of things, I will be putting up more chapters in his P.O.V.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

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That glorious scent of mako and musk invaded my nostrils as I pressed into his neck, letting out a startled yelp. The smell of him roamed through my head, tearing at my mind like a cruel beast. I felt dizzy and light-headed, thankful that we were no longer stood, moaning into his neck continuously as my eyes closed tightly.

His hand was...was...

He was..._touching_ me! And he was awake!

As my mind took it all in, I let out a satisfied groan into his skin, trying to relax as he gripped me.

_I must be dreaming, there's just no way..._

His hand left my boxers, extracting a cry of annoyance at the loss of contact from my trembling lips. Both of his rough hands moved to either of my arms, pushing me to the side slightly. I complied silently and rolled onto my back, allowing my eyes to open to see the tent in my pyjamas. I felt like nuzzling into him again as I saw it, embarrassment overwhelming me at the possible thoughts running through his head. But, I didn't dare roll back over as I felt him shuffle behind me. I just gulped down the embarrassment, trying to forget it all.

I felt him wriggle into an upright position, fully seated against the headboard. If he was choosing a good position for us to be in...then that meant he had thought it through...that this was what he wanted. At least, I hoped it did.

Strong arms pulled me to him, sitting me against his lap. I gulped once again as I felt my backside connect with his bulge. He wasn't hard, but he was still big...and I was small. Embarrassment filled me again as I looked at the tent in my pyjamas, not wanting him to see my size. But, I was a kid...and he was practically a god!

I leant back, resting my head in his neck. I may not have been able to nuzzle into it from this angle, but I rested my head in there- feeling content again. The rest of my little form sat against his chest and stomach, with the exception of my legs which sprawled out between his larger ones.

I felt...happy like this. I felt safe. I would have preferred to hide, but it was nice here. I could smell him, his scent all around me now; I could feel him- his warmth welcome against my clothed body.

My eyes darted to the side as they saw movement, staring at his right hand as it caressed my arm gently. I almost bucked my hips at that small touch alone, having been absorbed into desperate need. But, his hand didn't stay for long. It trailed down my arm, the fingers gliding across clothed skin as they moved.

But, his hand kept going. It slid down my stomach, fingers reaching under the shirt to stroke my stomach momentarily- bringing out a desperate moan from me. However, Cloud seemed to be skipping all foreplay- at least that's what I think its called- and was moving forever downward. His hand slipped under my waistband once again, gliding over the skin before wrapping itself around my little cock once again.

I collapsed back against him, moving my head to the side to stare up at the concentration on his face. He looked so...good.

I moaned loudly, bucking into his hand. The head of my member brushed against the fabric of my pyjamas, bringing an uncomfortable sensation.

"Try to be quiet." He whispered into my ear, squeezing my length gently. I sighed, hushing myself. My eyes glanced over at the closed door, half-expecting to see Marlene or Tifa there. Tifa...didn't he love her?

Cool air licked at my boyhood, making me shiver at the feeling. I looked down to find my cock exposed, having been pulled out from my pyjamas. Once again, I gulped in shame, worried that he would laugh.

But, he didn't. He merely pushed my bottoms and boxers down to my knees and started pumping me. My hips lifted off the bed, thrusting up into his hand in need. Noting what he had mentioned earlier, I bit down on my bottom lip to muffle the cry of pleasure that threatened to burst out into the early morning air.

His pace was tauntingly slow, pulling the foreskin over the head teasingly, before yanking it back down. But, to my delight, he began speeding up. His hand felt glorious against my heated skin, rubbing the most private part of my body.

"Cloud." I moaned into his neck, moving my head to the side. I closed my eyes as the pleasure began to rise to new heights, his hand pumping me faster and faster.

And yet, I didn't feel satisfied at all.

It felt good, really good...but, something was missing.

And, as I moaned and whimpered at his touch, breathing in his scent once again- I knew what it was.

Despite my own sexual desire, my teenage lust for pleasure...he was more important. I wanted _him_ to feel good. It was that knowledge, the desire to please him, which gave me the strength to pull on his arm- causing him to release my throbbing length.

There was an eerie silence, the kind that stings you with doubt, before he whispered a single word into my ear.

"Sorry."

I gulped as I heard his solemn tone, full of regret and shame. He had misunderstood; he thought I wanted it to stop.

I shook my head violently, my mess of brown hair flying from side-to-side madly.

Rolling over, leaving my own little cock to rub against the mattress, I rested my head against his godly chest- staring up at him through adoring eyes.

He gazed down, looking as handsome as ever, with a worried expression.

"Denzel..." He muttered, his confidence having been drained. It pained me to see him this way. But, hearing my name slip past those perfect lips helped me make my mind up.

I closed my eyes, leaning up so that my face was just in front of his. It was such an amateur move, full of inexperience. So, I didn't go all the way, I hovered just in front of his face- close enough to feel his hot breath against my skin. I'd never kissed like this before, so I had no idea what I was doing. What do you do when you don't know what you're doing? Let someone else guide you! And that's what I waited for. I didn't force him in to anything, knowing how reluctant he could be to say no. Instead, I waited for him to come to me, to reassure me that this was real.

My body shut down, becoming limp and lifeless in his arms (as they wrapped themselves around me), my head began spinning wildly- leaving no distinguishable thoughts. The only thing I was aware of, was the feel of his soft lips against mine- a feeling I had wanted to experience (whilst he was awake) for a long time. And it was as heavenly as before...no, it was far better.

His tongue slid across my bottom lip, causing me to mewl in submission as my mouth parted. And, as his hot, moist tongue slid through my lips- entering my mouth with intensive desire- I finally knew what heaven felt like.

And boy did it feel good!

I moaned, rubbing my aching hardness on the bed, as I felt his tongue wrap around my own, pushing it to the roof of my mouth, only to toy with it further.

Extremely dirty thoughts filled my head as I felt it, the hard object pressing against my body. I knew then what I wanted to do.

I pulled away from the kiss, using every bit of my evaporating self-control to resist the urge to kiss him again, and opened my eyes. He looked so good like this, with a questioning gaze and the first few beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

I shuffled myself down, brushing my flustered cheeks against his smooth chest and abs, until I was completely flat on the bed. Each one of his muscular legs was either side of me, trapping me in a place I never wanted to leave.

I stared just in front of me, a prominent and irresistible bulge evident in the man's underwear. It made me giddy, just to be so close to it- so close to Cloud.

Cloud.

The man I had adored for years, the man who had taken the position of father, the man who put his life on the line for me and, now, the man I was about to...to...

Glancing up, I saw his beautiful face looking down at me- that damn quizzical look still on his face. Was he really so naive that he didn't know what I was doing? He wasn't a virgin, that was for sure! So why did he look so confused?

Either way, he looked _hot_.

I just couldn't resist it anymore, I had dreamed of this moment for a while ad knew exactly what I wanted.

Hooking my shaking fingers under the waistband of his boxers, I yanked them down- catching the man off guard.

He shook a bit as I pulled on the material, before raising his hips. That action put my mind at rest, he wanted this too.

With his hips raised, I easily pulled his boxers down, having to move myself to get them off completely. Without any thought towards being caught, I threw the underwear in some random direction, eager to return to my god.

I rolled back in between his legs, my face inches from his gorgeous length.

Up close, it looked so much better.

He was semi-erect, yet pre-cum was already forming on the tip- making it look irresistible.

Another glance up confirmed his willingness, his eyes practically begging me to continue.

Now, despite everything, I like to think of myself as a rather innocent boy. I'd never had any experience with a partner, whether male or female and had little understanding of what I was about to do. In fact, it looked quite daunting, what with his member as large as it was. However, I knew what I'd fantasized about and that was what guided me. Besides, Cloud would never hurt me, right?

Closing my eyes once again, I inhaled through my nose (having figured out that it would be rather difficult to breath with _that_ down my throat) and leant forwards.

As I felt the moistened tip of his member connect with my lips, I gulped down my anxiety and opened my mouth. And, despite my eagerness, I took the tip in very slowly.

It slipped past my lips, causing me to moan around it in anticipation. My moan and mouth seemed to have an effect on the man above me, whose hips shuffled beneath me- threatening to thrust up- as his breath hitched. Luckily, he managed to control himself and keep his buttocks firmly planted on the bed.

Breathing through my nose, I took more of him in, slipping my mouth lower. I flattened my tongue against the bottom of my mouth, allowing his to slide in easier. It embarrasses me to say it, but I could feel myself dribble as I got the head in.

I decided that it was best to avoid taking in too much at once, instead planning to play with the tip a bit first.

And so, my tongue flickered up, whipping across the slit of his member, lapping up the drops of pre-cum. It didn't actually taste that bad, not as bad as I had expected anyway. It was a little...salty, I suppose...but overall- it was quite nice. I mean, this was _Cloud's_ essence! Of course it was delicious!

He withered into the bed as I licked the tip, letting out a sharp breath.

He was enjoying it!

That thought made me go further, ignoring all worry.

I moved my lips further down, slurping around his tool as I took more in. His hot breaths continued to sound above me, coming close to moans. I just wanted to hear my name, that was all.

However, I went too far. The tip of his cock hit the back of my throat, causing me to gag. I pulled back, the whole thing slipping from my mouth, gulping down the urge to throw up.

It took a little while, but I managed to get over the sickly feeling that had arisen within me. Opening my eyes, I stared at him with absolute wonder. His cheeks were slightly red, his face turned away from me in...shame?

Oh Gaia.

"Cloud," I murmured, trying to get him to look at me. No use, he just avoided my gaze completely. This was bad. If his confidence vanished, then so would mine. "Cloud," I repeated, kneeling in between his legs as I grasped his chin, forcing him to face me.

His gorgeous blue eyes finally met mine, staring at me with fear. The blond was a very delicate man, one that could easily be swayed or dissuaded. You had to be careful with him; it was far too easy to hurt his feelings. "Guide me." I whispered, putting on the cutest pout I could muster without bursting into laughter.

He stared at me blankly for a while, his brain obviously working extremely hard. He looked...cute, for someone so strong and dangerous. _My_ Cloud!

My heart leapt as he gave me a simple nod, silently agreeing with me. That was all I needed.

Knowing I had his support at last, I swooped back down into my previous position, lying between his muscular legs.

"If you help me, I can do this." I muttered, opening my mouth once again. He didn't answer, but I didn't expect him to. He would voice his opinion or thoughts when he saw fit, until then- all I really needed were his moans.

Slipping the head into my mouth, I glided it through my lips quickly. His breaths became quicker and sharper once again, his hips still struggling to remain down.

Only when the tip reached the back of my throat again, did I stop. I glanced up, signalling for him to help me. His stare was so intense, I didn't understand. Maybe it was something a man did when he saw someone beneath him with his cock in their mouth.

Who knows?

All I knew, or cared about, was that Cloud finally showed some signs of assistance. His right hand moved, brushing through my brown locks gently. Soon, my head was in his palm, my hair between his fingers.

"On three." He whispered, stroking my hair so lovingly. He loved me, he really loved me!

"One," He continued stroking my head, causing me to relax around his fully-hard length.

"Two," He gripped my head a bit tighter, showing me that it was time.

"Three." I breathed in through my nose, closing my eyes once again as I pushed down. I felt his hand gently pushing me down, giving me the option to pull away if need be. At first, the hand seemed pointless, not really doing anything. However, just as I was about to gag again, he tilted my head at an angle, causing his member to slide down my throat rather easily.

It was uncomfortable and slightly intruding, but it didn't cause me to throw up.

Pretty soon, the whole thing had passed through my lips, my throat opening and adjusting to his size.

It wasn't so bad after all; all I needed was Cloud's help.

I felt him pat my head in praise, extracting a moan from me. His body shook around me, his hips lifting just a bit. It didn't hurt...it was fine.

I pulled back, making sure to coat his length in my saliva as I did.

Gazing up at him with love and adoration, I whispered two innocent words.

"It's okay."

Diving back down, I sucked his length back down my throat, this time not needing much help.

Both his hands instantly shot up, his fingers entangling themselves in my hair.

_Gaia, I love you, Cloud!_

After my assurance, he allowed his hips to shoot up, shoving the gorgeous phallus further down my throat. Whoever said that the mouth's most important function was eating was an idiot! This was waaaaaaaaayyyyy better!

I began to suck his cock, swallowing the continuously forming droplets of pre-cum with eagerness. I discovered a technique that, not only made me comfortable, but obviously pleased him. Slurping around the base of his length, my tongue wrapped around it, licking its underside desperately.

Finally, he moaned. The noise sounded so good coming from his lips. It sent a shiver throughout my body, causing me to thrust into the bed. And, I wasn't the only one. His body jolted up, his hips hitting my face, his balls slapping against my neck.

That's when I remembered.

Cloud had seemed to enjoy playing his balls during his 'solo' session. This gave me an idea.

I removed the throbbing cock from my mouth, earning a groan of displeasure from the beautiful man above me.

A smile crept onto my lips as I slid down, moving a hand up to grasp his length, pumping it quickly. He thrusted into my hand, causing me to giggle a bit.

Finding my goal, I slipped the man's balls into my mouth, sucking them into my wet cavern.

He moaned again, a little louder, as his hips jolted again. I knew it would work.

I pumped him faster as I rolled his balls around on my tongue, slurping around them. I purposely allowed a bit of dribble to slip out of my mouth, sliding down to his unspeakable-part. He thrust up again, and something slipped out his mouth- something I will never forget!

"Denzel." My name, _my _name!

The urge to cry seemed to show its ugly head as the word struck at my heart. To know that this was me, touching his most private parts, earning those luscious moans- it got to me. However, I didn't cry. I continued on, slurping around his balls, increasing the speed of my pumping, pulling his foreskin back and forth quickly.

"Denzel," There it was again! So beautiful... "G-gonna..."

_Gonna?_ I silently egged him on, knowing well what he was going to say. I just wanted to hear it from _him_.

"G-gonna...gonna...c-c-cum." He finally managed to get the words out. Pleased that I had gotten what I wanted from him, I let his balls slip out and moved up to take his length back into my mouth- letting it slide down my throat smoothly. His hips snapped up as he moaned, his body going into spasms as I sucked him hungrily into my mouth, my hand moving to roll his balls in my palm.

"N-no, Denzel," He moaned, thrusting into my mouth once more. "N-not in...in your...not in your mouth!" Her cried out, his hands flying to my head again, fingers pulling on my hair. But, I ignored him.

_Yes, in my mouth!_

I sucked harder, my tongue playing with the underside of his manhood as I eagerly waited.

"Denzel!" The cry told me all I wanted to know. Squeezing my eyelids together tightly, I braced myself for what was to come. And boy did Cloud come.

I felt the hot liquid spurt into my mouth, shooting straight to the back of my throat. Cloud's back arched, his toes curling, _my_ name on his lips as he released his juices into me.

I greedily swallowed, finding it to be a stronger version of what I tasted before. But, there was a lot more than I originally expected.

I'd never produced _that_ much!

It flowed down my throat, filling me with a warm sensation as it did. I hungrily lapped it up, trying to swallow it all without gagging. However, it was hard. I was forced to pull back before I choked, coughing some of the essence onto Cloud's stomach.

And it was then, that I felt my own climax.

Just tasting Cloud's juices had sent me over the edge, causing an agonizingly good tightening of my lower stomach, my balls tightening up as I emptied myself onto the bed, humping the mattress madly as I swallowed.

Here _I_ was, with a flustered and godly Cloud, licking up _his_ cum, while emptying myself on _his_ bed, with _him_ moaning _my_ name. Everything was so perfect.

Nothing could ever beat this...

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A/N:**** There you go guys! A reward for putting up with my late reviews! I hope you liked this chapter! I know I said in my last chapter that they weren't actually 'together', that Cloud was just pitying Denzel- but I decided to take a different route.**

**Anyway, please enjoy and review! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!**


	8. Guilt

**A/N:**** Once again, I must beg for forgiveness regarding the lateness of this chapter! Life has been hectic. It's been so long that I actually had to go back and remind myself of the story. If I get a few details wrong, then I am truly sorry. Please don't kill me.**

**Anyway, enjoy! And keep your wonderful reviews coming!**

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I know I'm not a man of many words. Tifa and Barret often rebuke me for my quiet nature and detest of small talk. But, I didn't need very many words as I pulled the little form closer to me that morning. Just two simple yet effective words were necessary- able to wrap everything up into a neat little package:

_Oh, shit!_

I had re-clothed us already, refusing to have either of us remain nude.

Staring down at the content-looking, sleeping figure of the boy, I felt sickened. It all felt like a dream, the way I had touched him…the way he had…had….

_Oh, shit!_

I never thought this would happen. All the absent-minded touches, all the playful jokes and hints, all the dreams and fantasies…I never thought they would lead to _this_.

Yes, I was in to men. And yes, I hadn't had sex or intimacy with another for quite a few years- I was sexually starved. But, that was no excuse for my behaviour.

This wasn't like back in SOLDIER, where an intimate relationship with someone older could be kept behind the cold, metallic walls. This wasn't like with Zack.

I would have to face this, face _him_, every single day- watching his innocence, knowing that I had taken part of it away. Was this what it was like to be the eldest in the relationship? If so, I wanted no part of it.

Denzel couldn't be my dirty little secret. I couldn't just coax him into bed with me every time I was in need of release. He was a child, a child I looked after. A child Tifa and I had practically adopted.

_Oh, Gaia! Tifa!_

How could I do this to Tifa! After all she had done for us, she had kept us together- had never left my side, even when I left hers.

I'm sick! Disgusting!

Why couldn't I have just kept these sick feelings inside! Why did I have to go ahead and ruin everything!

That was it. I would have to leave. I had no choice now. How could I continue living like this after what I'd done?

Denzel had put his mouth…he'd…he'd given me a blowjob! And, Gaia-forbid, I had enjoyed it so damn much!

And now, here he was, softly sleep against my chest- one arm flung across my torso so darn casually it made my stomach churn. What sort of man was I?

I could just hear him, in the back of my head!

"_Well, Cloud. Isn't this amusing? You've truly fallen, losing your light completely. Hero, indeed."_ Sephiroth, taunting me after seeing what I'd done.

"**Shut up."**

"_It seems like I am no longer the worst thing you'll have to face. I must be losing my touch."_

"_Don't be embarrassed, brother."_ Not Kadaj too! That was the last thing I needed. _"Everyone needs release once in a while- even you!"_ I could hear the youth's chuckle ringing in my head, over and over and over.

My eyes danced down to the boy's face, my stomach churning at the sight.

His eyes were closed, his mouth slightly parted to let out his gentle breaths so they could tickle the skin of my chest. His mess of brown hair was even more wild in the early morning, but it only added to his overall cute exterior. His skin looked so pure…so untouched. No one would think that not long ago, those sweet lips had been all over my….

"_Don't you just wanna truly claim him, brother? He looks so delicious, wouldn't you agree?"_

Denzel _did_ look 'delicious'.

"_Imagine what he'd look like with you pounding into him. Imagine him writhing and screaming beneath you as you thrust into that nice ass. Don't you just wanna take him now?" _It wouldn't stop. Whether Kadaj was speaking for my conscious, I did not know- but the words were so true.

"_You've always been a sadist, Cloud."_ There was Sephiroth again. _"He'll gladly accept the pain. You have so much anger, buried within. Just…let it go."_

"_Take him!"_ The youth hissed.

"**NO!" **I moved away, preparing to run as fast as I could. I had to get away from Denzel…before…before….

"C-Cloud?"

My body froze, hardly having moved an inch. That small, feeble voice calmed me down- helping me relax. Denzel always had that effect on me. Just thinking of him was enough to soothe me.

"_Or get you hard!"_ Kadaj added.

Looking down, I saw the boy- his eyes creeping open with unfocused vision. So sweet….

"What's wrong?" That face, that voice. Everything about the boy brought me back to atrocious arousal, stirring my manhood back to life.

He noticed.

And that's what sickened me most.

He laid there, his head on my thumping chest, staring down my body at the noticeable bulge in my boxers. And, I knew there was no running.

"So big…." I heard him whisper; only stabbing my heart even more.

I could tell my silence unnerved him as he shuffled around- his hair tickling me teasingly.

Soon, he was looking up at me again, a pout on his face. And, oh boy did it turn me on.

"I love you, Cloud." He said. "I'd do any_thing for you!"_ The horror struck me as his voice morphed into that of Kadaj halfway through- in my head alone of course. But, it stung. "C-can I see?" Snapping out of my brief trance, I noticed the faint blush on his cheeks and knew at once what he meant.

As much as it disgusted and repulsed me, as much as I wanted to say no- nothing stopped me from nodding slightly.

And, he was up.

I missed his warmth as soon as he moved, but soon felt it again on my thigh as he sat himself upon my leg. With not a moment to spare, I felt the cool breeze hit my tip- causing me to shiver in delight as I was freed from the material cage.

He stared at my arousal with the most luscious expression I had ever seen. His face was full of wonder and curiosity, a deep pout crossing his lips as he tilted his head to the side. Kadaj mumbled something in the back of my head, but he went ignored as I observed the boy.

He was fascinated.

I watched his curious little fingers reach out and grasp my length, almost extracting a moan from my lips. His hand was warm on my throbbing shaft, and it felt so good. I secretly yearned for his mouth to return to my cock once again- having only blessed memories of the feeling.

The feel of my manhood seemed to only make him more curious, as he gave it a few experimental strokes- each one causing my hips to shift slightly and my breath to hitch.

He looked so curious and fascinated by it.

Not to mention, the tent that had formed in his pyjama pants. You would have thought such a young boy would be satisfied by one orgasm per morning, but not Denzel!

_Darn it all!_ I growled to myself, pushing him onto his back. Ignoring the guilt and angst within, I quickly stripped him- wanting nothing more than to gaze upon his young body.

He was beautiful.

His skin pale and smooth, not a cut or bruise in sight. He was lean and slim, having done some work around the house and constantly exercising to be like me, even some muscle was developing upon his small frame. His boyhood seemed the right size for a kid his age, but looked so delicious to me.

It was disgusting and sick, as I have mentioned before. But, I wasn't thinking about that then. I just wanted him.

"_Take him, brother! Pound him into the bed!"_

"_Make him scream, Cloud. You crave satisfaction."_

I wouldn't stoop so low as to listen to the two silver-haired men. I wouldn't take Denzel, not yet anyway. There were other ways to be with a person.

I lowered my body upon his, moaning at the feel of his bare skin against mine.

Both of us let out a pleasure-filled gasp as our members made contact, rubbing against each other hotly.

He was way smaller than I. I could have crushed him, but that just made it so much better! His shaft was less than half the size of my own, but still throbbed hard and proud against me as I bucked against him.

"Cloud!" He moaned, his hips arching- rubbing our arousals together so smoothly.

I fell onto my forearms, one either side of the boy's form. Our lower bodies were completely connected as I began moving my hips- thrusting against his body again and again.

I could hear him moan, could hear him gasp. It urged me on, causing me to move faster and faster.

The bed creaked slightly as we thrust against one another, not that I cared. Marlene was asleep and Denzel was beneath me, what else was there to think about!

"Denzel," I moaned, slamming against his hips forcefully- causing the boy to yelp in what I assumed to be pleasure. "I love you…so, so much!" And, at that moment, I made the promise to remind him of that every day. I rarely told Denzel I loved him, but that was going to change.

I stared down into his eyes, which shimmered as they gazed up into mine. He so perfect, my little angel.

I crashed our lips together, plunging my tongue into his mouth as I began humping him quickly. I did want to be inside him, so badly. But, I knew I couldn't. Pulling away from his sweet-tasting mouth, I planted a gentle, tender kiss on his cheek- quickening my pace.

"If there's anything you want, Denzel, then tell me." I said, knowing I would do anything for him.

"Ngh!" He moaned, bucking into me. "I…I want to see…I want to see you…touch yourself again!" He wheezed, arching beneath me.

His request was strange and unusual and sounded like poison coming from a mouth so young and innocent. But, the idea turned me on so much that I didn't care.

Despite how much I hated to do so, I moved away from his hips, raising into a seated position- my buttocks coming to rest upon my bent legs. My manhood bobbed just above his small chest as I began eagerly pumping myself- staring down into his lust-filled eyes. I pumped myself hard and fast as he watched me with those curious eyes, his shaft rubbing against my thigh.

I wanted him!

I wanted to fuck him!

But, I couldn't.

But, there was one thing I could do.

My tongue crept my mouth to moisten my lips as the idea sprung to me.

"_Are you insane! You're the man here, it makes no sense!"_ Kadaj hissed.

"_Are you willing to endure the humiliation?"_ Sephiroth coaxed.

But, I ignored them. For me, it wouldn't be humiliating at all.

And so, my free hand darted down to grasp the base of the boy's erection, aiming it upwards. Denzel moaned and stared and I could tell he had realized what I was planning. He looked horrified, shocked….

And so, I lowered myself onto the kid's small lap- engulfing his shaft into my hole in one swift movement. He cried out, bucking into me uncontrollably, before falling into a heap below my body.

His penetration brought no pain, only discomfort. I had had much bigger before and my fingers often came into play during my solo sessions, so even without lube Denzel was no problem for me.

He writhed beneath me, panting and moaning and gasping and yelping- the sweat clearly visible on his skin.

I could hear Kadaj and Sephiroth jeer and mock me for allowing a kid inside me. But, I didn't care. Denzel hadn't topped me, he wasn't seme. I was merely bringing the boy more pleasure; it didn't make me the woman of the relationship. Besides, this was the only time it would happen- afterward I would be pounding the boy into the bed.

Denzel wasn't long enough to reach my prostate, but he did stimulate the ring of muscles at my opening, causing my cock to jolt in pleasure.

The poor boy looked absolutely mortified as he stared at his little pole as it disappeared up inside me. It was cute.

So, I moved, bouncing on top of him madly as I jerked myself off- my hand moving at such speed that it became a blur.

Denzel was young, so he was already close.

My excuse? I had a deliciously hot kid beneath me, willing to complete any sexual favour I asked of him.

"Cloud!" He yelped, his fists gathering the sheets up into balls as he bit his lip. I knew he was very close and I wasn't prepared to let him cum inside me- that was that.

The kid had had his cock in my ass for about a minute, and that was all he was ever getting as far as I was concerned. Lifting myself off him, I descended back to our previous position, lying on top of him again. I resumed our earlier movements, grinding myself against his arousal hard and fast. He cried and yelped and gasped and moaned as he moved his tiny hips with mine, his body so petit and insignificant beneath my own.

And then, it happened.

He reached his peak.

"Cloud!" He cried out, his head jolting back as he let out the loudest moan of his life, his hips bucking against mine- almost with enough strength to lift me a bit…._almost!_

As his sweat rubbed off onto my skin as his arousal pumped against my own, I felt the warm liquid shoot out everywhere.

His cum covered both of our cocks, as wells as our stomachs.

I would have let him bask in the afterglow if I weren't so close myself.

I returned to my sitting position, gathering his cum up in my hand and applying it to my manhood.

I felt my erection throb as it was lathered in Denzel's juice, only adding to my immense horniness. I quickly began jerking myself again, bucking it my own hands as I gazed down upon the blissful boy- who was eagerly awaiting.

With a final jerk of my hips and a cry of his name, I came. My own cum shot out with incredible force, splattering across my hand and Denzel. It landed upon his abdomen, chest, arms, face and even shot off above his head onto the sheets. Droplets of white rained down upon the kid as the pleasure reached an all-time high, even if my release was brought by my own hand.

Watching him lick up the cum which landed on his face was enough to coerce another rope of the essence from my tip, splattering upon him again.

_Fuck!_ I inwardly shouted, panting loudly as I came down from my orgasm.

Now, that sweet and innocent boy was on my bed, naked and covered in cum.

And I found it so hot…until my senses took hold.

* * *

Instead of running away, I decided to gulp down my fear and face things head on. Ignoring my guilt, I picked up Denzel and carried him to the bathroom. I ran a nice, warm bath for us both- quickly checking in on Marlene as it took its time. Sure enough, the girl was fast asleep and my secret was safe.

_How am I gonna keep this from Tifa?_ I wondered. The woman had always been able to see through me in the past. Denzel and I would have to be extra careful.

And so, I placed the boy in the water gently, climbing in opposite him. We both sighed in unison at the pleasing warmth of the water. We took a moment to bask in the tranquil calm, before finally speaking to one another.

"Cloud. What we did…was that wrong?" The boy murmured, staring at me with, what I believed to be, admiration. My answer took little consideration, as lying was against the question.

"Some people would think so."

"And you?"

"No." He smiled at my answer and I couldn't help smiling back.

It wasn't just about sex; (though sex was nice) I truly cared for Denzel. We would never be one of those lovey-dovey couples, hell no! But we shared something, a bond.

I remembered something Zack once told me, all those years ago:

'_If it's in your heart it can't be wrong. A bond is special, there's nothing like it. You may not always understand what's going on inside your heart, but you'll always know if you care for someone! It's not something you need to think about, Spikey!'_

Zack had been right.

Denzel was special and no thought was needed. I was going to look after the brunette for years and I'd always love him.

I want to attend parents' evenings at his school; I want to go and cheer him on at sports events; I want to brag about him to other people, even if they were sick of listening. We were a family- Tifa, Denzel, Marlene and I. Although Denzel and I were intimate, it made no difference. I cared for all of my family and friends, especially Tifa. I'm sorry I can't be attracted to her the same way she is to me, but she'll always be my 'partner' and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The kid may be my sexy little boy now, but he's still a kid. I would have to continue to fill the role of father throughout Denzel's life, even if we do mess around behind closed doors.

I love that boy.

"Cloud? What are you thinking about?"

I snapped out of it, my gaze turning from the water to the brunette peering at me curiously.

"Breakfast." I said, a mischievous smile creeping onto my face. So, I wasn't made of stone! Big deal! It still didn't mean I was going to poor my heart out to anyone.

"Me too!" He said, laughing childishly. "When's Tifa getting back?"

"Hopefully soon, as long as she doesn't bring Yuffie back with her."

"You big baby! Can't you handle a little teasing?" I narrowed my eyes at the boy as his words struck me. Did he think he was getting away with that!

"Baby, huh?" I flicked my hand in the water, splashing him without a care in the world.

"Hey!"

"What are you gonna do about it?"

He was on me in a second. He jumped into my chest, laughing and giggling as he nuzzled my shoulder tenderly. We didn't give our nudity a second thought and neither one of us became aroused. Contrary to popular belief, men and boys aren't machines who operate for the soul purpose of screwing everything that does or doesn't move.

"You're a dork, Cloud!"

"You're a dork!"

**

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A/N:

** I hope you liked it! Originally, I wasn't going to write another lemon scene, but I couldn't resist.**

**The Kadaj and Sephiroth thing was inspired by the scene in Advent Children Complete where Cloud falls to his knees as a result of his geostigma and Sephiorth's voice can be hear taunting him.**

**I added Kadaj because I couldn't imagine Sephiroth saying half the lines I wanted to add.**

**Please review and tell me what you think and suggestions are more than welcome!**


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